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‘Can I tell my stepdaughter that her mom is a bitch?’ writes a 52-year-old stepmom. Our advice columnist weighs in.
Dear Abigail,
Can I tell my stepdaughter that her mom is a bitch?
Three years ago, I fell in love with an amazing guy and his delightful 10-year-old daughter. I never had any kids of my own, and I had thought that ship had sailed, so I feel so incredibly lucky to have this wonderful little family in my life. I also know how lucky I am that his co-parenting relationship is relatively drama-free. In fact, for the first couple of years, his ex was barely in the picture.
Technically, my partner and his ex share custody 50-50. In practice, though, he has been the primary parent, taking care of all the practical parenting stuff—from doctors’ appointments to teacher conferences—while his ex was out “finding herself” on his dime. Her much-younger boyfriend didn’t like kids, so she often only saw her daughter a couple of days a week, and spent her weekends basically pretending that she didn’t have one.
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Abigail Shrier is a senior fellow at the Manhattan Institute and the New York Times bestselling author of Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren’t Growing Up.