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‘How do I let go of my sadness and anger and get over this?’ asks a 60-year-old reader. Our advice columnist weighs in.
Dear Abigail,
I grew up as the oldest of two girls in a very rural, generational farming community in the Midwest, where most people never leave as time marches on. I helped my dad with the farm and was very involved in the work, but I recognized that I did not want the stress of irregular earnings. I was the first in my family to go to college, and afterwards, my husband and I both got jobs a couple of hours from our hometown working in corporate fields. At first, his job required a lot of travel, but when our children were very young, he was offered a promotion out of state that allowed him to be home every night. We accepted that transfer for the benefit of our family and have now lived in Texas for over 27 years.
My sister stayed in the area, married, and had two children—a boy and a girl, who are both now married with their own children and live nearby. My nephew has been working as a hired farmhand, while also starting to rent his own farmland.
As our parents were aging, my sister and I encouraged them to ensure their estate was set up as they wanted. My dad’s position was that my sister and I would share everything equally, and since that’s what their wills stated, there was no reason to meet with anyone or change anything.
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Abigail Shrier is a senior fellow at the Manhattan Institute and the New York Times bestselling author of Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren’t Growing Up.