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Commentary By Abigail Shrier

Tough Love: I Don’t Want My 22-Year-Old to Get Married

Culture Culture & Society, Family

Photo: Ktolgart/E+ via Getty Images

A reader thinks her daughter needs to know herself better before committing to a man. Our advice columnist Abigail Shrier responds.

Dear Abigail,

My daughter loves love. She recently got engaged to her college boyfriend (they’d been dating less than a year before the engagement), and they are going to get married right after graduation, when they’ll both be 22 years old. They both have good-paying jobs lined up but will be spending the first couple of years after graduation apart as they complete the training/education needed for their jobs.

I can’t help but worry that they’re too young to get married. I also worry that she’ll end up making choices based on the relationship that will derail her training/education for the job that she has lined up, which is essentially her dream job. At 22 years old, I want her to focus on her career and, if I’m honest, grow up a little more.

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Abigail Shrier is a senior fellow at the Manhattan Institute and the New York Times bestselling author of Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren’t Growing Up.