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A mom writes that her 8-year-old is shutting down when faced with challenges—and wants to know: Is this ‘something that requires professional intervention’? Our advice columnist weighs in.
Dear Abigail,
My 8-year-old daughter is a delight. She is talented, sociable, and generally thriving. But she is struggling with what appears to be serious and escalating anxiety.
While she has always been nervous about new situations, her behavior has recently shifted from avoidance to shutdown. Whether it is dance, swimming, or piano—activities she genuinely enjoys—she often reaches a breaking point where her shoulders slump, she becomes nonverbal, and she stops participating. Usually this happens when the instructor asks her to do something she views as challenging.
I have tried many different ways to get her back up and moving. But once she has shut down, she is too stubborn to even attempt a task. The only thing that seems to work is moving on to the next task or activity.
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Abigail Shrier is a senior fellow at the Manhattan Institute and the New York Times bestselling author of Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren’t Growing Up.