I Went No Contact with My Parents. I Regret It.

A therapist told me my mom and dad were causing all my problems—so I cut them off for five years.

When I was 19, my therapist told me I was not safe living with my parents.

It was 2008, and I had been struggling with suicidal thoughts for a little while. I had admitted this to my best friend, who recommended her therapist to me, and in the months that followed, that therapist told me that my parents were “toxic” and “coercive”; I needed “boundaries.” Suddenly, all my problems had a tantalizingly simple root cause: my mom and dad.

So, I cut them off completely. I didn’t speak to them for five years. Now, I deeply regret it.

Nearly two decades later, the framework that felt revelatory to me at the time is everywhere. More people than ever are in therapy, and therapeutic language increasingly shapes how we understand family conflict. Going no contact with a relative is described as “self-care.” Painful experiences are “trauma”; hurtful words are “abuse.” Today, 10 percent of the U.S. population is estranged from a parent or child. And as The Wall Street Journal recently reported, increasing numbers of them are being encouraged to do so by their therapists.

Continue reading the entire piece here at The Free Press

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Christina Buttons is an investigative reporter at the Manhattan Institute. Her work focuses on a range of social issues, including pediatric gender medicine, child welfare policies, youth mental-health treatment, and immigration.