Back Off, Health Nazis, And Let New York's Doggies Dine

Albany is consumed with a really complex issue: whether Gotham's restaurants should let dogs dine — or rather, watch you dine — outside.

No, the problem isn't the cat lobby. It's New York's instinct to regulate everything. In al-fresco dogs, we're behind California, and all of Europe, too.

Who is sticking up for East Coast dogs? A West Coast group called “Social Compassion in Legislation.” Last year, its volunteers got California Gov. Jerry Brown to sign a bill allowing dogs at outdoor patios if the restaurants agree.

It's not a dog free-for-all: dogs still can't go in the kitchen, they can't sit on chairs, they can't eat off of people's plates, and they must enter the patio through a separate entrance — the doggie door.

Oh, and: “walk your dog before dining,” lectured Contra Costa County's environmental-health director. Plus: Los Angeles County reminds patrons not to get their dogs drunk.

After winning California, Social Compassion heard from New Yorkers who wanted help, says founder Judie Mancuso. So the group went to Nassau County Senator Kemp Hannon and to Manhattan Assemblywoman Linda Rosenthal this spring with much the same bill.

Rosenthal was a natural choice. “People know that I'm interested in animal welfare,” she says.

But why is Hannon, a suburban Long Island Republican, half in charge of Chelsea pooches?

Because he's the head of the health committee, which, apparently, has jurisdiction.

“I don't have dogs,” Hannon said Friday. “But I've been in restaurants where there were dogs. It hadn't occurred to me that this was a violation.”

Having not witnessed any calamities while dining near illegal dogs, Hannon proposed his bill.

He wasn't taking any chances, though. The bill prohibits waiters from patting the dogs, forces owners to keep their dogs leashed, and mandates that restaurants “clean and sanitize” any “surfaces … contaminated by dog excrement.”

And: dogs must drink from plastic “single use” bowls, not washable, re-useable bowls. People must drink from other people's glasses, but not dogs.

Good enough. The Senate passed the bill — 374 words — last month with no comment.

But then the bill went to Rosenthal and the Assembly — where, suddenly, lots of important people found problems. Assemblyman Richard Gottfried — who actually represents sophisticated dogs in Chelsea and Hell's Kitchen — worries about the competition.

“Some dogs are tall enough that all they would have to do is turn their heads and they would be eating off people's plates,” he pointed out to The Post.

Mayor de Blasio's bureaucrats oppose the law, with a health-department spokesman saying it's too dangerous. People could trip over the dogs.

There's no evidence: Mancuso notes that Los Angeles County has seen no increase in dog-related restaurant crime over the half-year, so far, of dogs on patios.

And Assembly members have gotten mired into “the definition of dog,” Hannon notes.

“Companion dog, service dog.” (Hannon's bill calls them “pet dogs.”)

Under the amended Assembly bill — 20 percent longer — restaurants now must post fair warning to dog haters: that is, “reasonable signage indicating that companion dogs are allowed in the outdoor dining area or a designated portion.”

The bill passed the health committee last week, and goes to the full Assembly now, and then — hopefully! — to Gov. Cuomo.

But let's think about this: New York's lawmakers think that restaurant owners are so dumb that they'll allow their diners to dine near surfaces covered in dog poop — and they think New Yorkers are such unhardy folk that they need warnings that, hey, there might be a dog around.

Expressing “surprise” at the “misinformation” and opposition, particularly from the city, Rosenthal told me on Friday that “you have to assume that people are sensible” – that is, that restaurant workers and dog owners have some modicum of understanding that dogs shouldn't poop in the food and that you shouldn't bring a dog who hates people to a crowded patio.

“There's a lesson for life these days,” says Hannon, “in how complicated we make everything in life.”

“Oh my God, yes,” Mancuso says about whether she's had a harder time in New York than in California. “I didn't expect any opposition.” It's “shocking, shocking,” she laughs, especially since the law is “pro-business.”

Meanwhile, the European Union allows dogs everywhere, even inside restaurants.

And yes, the waiters pet the dogs and talk to them.

And nobody dies.

New York could try a really radical experiment in stepping back — a few pawprints — from its regulatory state.

Don't have any rules on dogs (or cats or birds or snakes or lions) in restaurants at all — even indoors! — and see what happens.

This piece originally appeared in the New York Post.

This piece originally appeared in New York Post